so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize
