it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
Randomize
