the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
Randomize
