were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
be right there i have to get my cape
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
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