somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
