sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
Randomize
