At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize
