I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
I need water and some morals
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
