Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
Randomize
