Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize
