just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
