that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Randomize
