I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
