Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
We have started to decorate penises.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Randomize
