how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
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