you guys were way drunker than both of me
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
Randomize
