do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
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