remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
Randomize
