Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
