I'm at some bar in brklyn... just made out with a guy named Owen.
He is a pre-school teacher... just sang me a song about weather.
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
I'm both gender and math confused
Randomize
