You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
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