If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
