I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon�
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
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