Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Randomize
