just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
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