I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
Shitshow foam night was such a success
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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