Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
Randomize
