We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
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