Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Randomize
