i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Randomize
