Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
Randomize
