Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
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