Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
