is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
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