Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
Randomize
