Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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