Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
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