she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
COCAINE IS GR8
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
I woke up under a house in Key West
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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