There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
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