you guys were way drunker than both of me
I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Randomize
