Dual....:-)
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Randomize
