so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
Randomize
