Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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