You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Randomize
