Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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