her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
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