I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
