He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
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