Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
Randomize
