definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
Randomize
