At least make sure they are 18
Why
What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
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