no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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