You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
Randomize
