I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
