I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
Randomize
